What Our Hearts Want
by CeceliaStar
Summary: "Her pulse sped up, and it felt like her heart was clawing at her throat to escape. And oh, how badly she wanted to set it free, to let it loose and run to that man with the slight smirk on his face. He captivated her in a way she'd never felt before." Gruvia. Circus AU.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is a draft I've had in my documents FOREVER. Finally thought I'd put it up. I am unsure if I should continue it or not. It was meant to be a multi-chapter but I'm lazy as hell. Anyway, hope you** enjoy

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It was really the twinkling lights that did her in.

She was a small kid when she first saw them, or, rather, the sign pasted on the side of an old and worn bar that only the ruffians of the town went to. The paper was fresh and new, and printed in curling letters were the words "WHERE DREAMS COME TRUE, THE FAIRY TAIL CIRCUS".

Her first thoughts had been indifferent until she saw the art that decorated the edges. Soft, colorful pictures of little fairies danced on the edges, and fire laced the sides, with cool blue flowing within.

Juvia Locskter was not one for circuses, but she thought she'd make an exception, just for the fairies. She thought it with the smallest of smiles.

When the moon came out she thought to sneak in through one of the flaps of the tent since she had no money, but to her surprise and delight, it was free. The nice man at the entrance with a stout belly smiled warmly and complimented her blue locks, bringing a fierce blush to her cheeks. Compliments were rare and few between for an orphan child in a thieves gang.

It was dark and stank like hay when she entered. The seats were mostly taken, and afraid to approach anyone, she stood by the seats in the back nervously itching at her arm. Maybe it had been a mistake to come.

The thought vanished from her mind the moment the lights came on. They were twinkling.

An older man, a small man, came on the stage and called to the crowd for silence while applause rang out. She stared with such intensity as he cleared his throat and introduced himself.

"Welcome one and all," he boomed. "Welcome to the Fairy Tail Circus, I am the troupe leader, Makarov." His eyes twinkled mischievously and Juvia found she quite liked him.

She tuned out the rest of his speech when her focus found something far more interesting. Silently and with quiet grace, people stepped out from behind the curtains - the performers she assumed. A teenager with beautiful long white hair grinned wildly at the crowd, eyes sparkling just like Makarov's. A younger girl, maybe her own age, with dark brown hair grinned excitedly, waving like a maniac. A boy the same age with startling pink hair was jumping around and muttering things as his fellow members shushed him. There were maybe twenty lined up, each different and wildly individual. The one that truly caught her eye though was a boy with dark hair, standing coolly to the side, indifferent features staring at the crowd. She thought his gaze passed over her for a split second and everything inside her burned fire red.

Her pulse sped up, and it felt like her heart was clawing at her throat to escape. And oh, how badly she wanted to set it free, to let it loose and run to that man with the slight smirk on his face. He captivated her in a way she'd never felt before.

Her whole life, she'd never felt like this before. She wondered why she hadn't? It was such a glorious feeling, this longing, the possibility. But, she realized with sudden clarity, only this mysteriously beautiful man could cause such a reaction.

She hardly noticed when Gajeel appeared behind her, like a shadow.

"Juvia," he grunted. "The boss wants to head out."

Juvia's breath caught in her throat. Leave? She whipped around and stared at the tall figure with wide eyes. She couldn't voice the need to stay, to never leave. Juvia didn't want to go, something that had never truly occurred before. She'd always been willing to bend to her leader's commands, as flexible as the water. But now she found herself unwilling to move, because of him.

"No." It came out as a breathless whisper. "I won't leave."

p"Gajeel stared down at her with his red, sharp eyes. For a split second, she wondered if he was going to knock her out and drag her back. But no - he would never do that. Though occasionally tenuous, he was her only true friend.

"Juvia," he warned lowly. "The boss won't let us stay." She could have sworn there was a touch of fear in his eyes when he said, "Boss won't be happy with insubordination."

"Juvia glanced back at the stage where the man and his troop were each performing their own small tricks on the side before the true act began. His brow was furrowed as he juggled what she guessed to be 5 clubs back and forth with the pink-haired fellow.

Gajeel followed her gaze and frowned.

"Slowly, Juvia nodded. She would go back. If she left without a word, who knew what horrors her boss would rain down upon her, Gajeel, or worse, Fairy Tail? She would go back, but she would not stay.

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 **Comments, suggestions, thoughts? Yes, no, maybe so?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the wait y'all, life has been busy. Hope you like it!**

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Jose Porla stared down at Juvia, Gajeel, and the rest of the Element Four from his raised chair, seated like a king. They remained unnaturally still, waiting for the other shoe to drop, as it were.

Jose was not a kind man. Being the leader of a thieving gang, Phantom Lord, he had no choice but to be as tough as they came. But Jose went beyond just tough. He was cruel and conniving and delighted in others pain. That is why Phantom Lord is one of the most feared gangs around. The police hated him as did citizens of every town they encountered. The gang was known to move from place to place – that was why they were never caught. You can't catch someone that isn't there.

Juvia knew this, which is why she requested that they stay in Magnolia for longer than planned. It was questioning Jose's choice, something that never went well. Juvia wondered if she should have maybe waited until they were alone. She had no wish to bring the Element Four into this.

Finally, his loud voice boomed across the room of an abandoned building they were currently squatting in.

"What could possibly make you ask that?" The words were harmless enough, but his face was twisted into a sneer, and his voice held the promise of violence that would make her out of commission for a week.

Juvia pushed back her shoulders, trying to feign a confidence she most certainly did not have. But she could still see that boys face, coolly staring at the crowd. Lighting her on fire with just a look.

"Thousands reside here," she said, but it came out more of a whisper. "Plenty to steal, not a lot of chances to get caught, not with the circus performing."

Jose eyed her critically up and down. Juvia was only twelve, Gajeel fourteen, and she didn't dare ask the ages of the rest of the Element Four. She had a feeling though that they were practically the same age. They'd always been good pickpockets, good at stealing, fighting. In their gang, they were respected, despite their age. But one look from Jose and she knew he'd throw her out without a second thought and he'd forget about her by dinner. It didn't matter how much she stole for him, how good she was at it, if she pledged her loyalty to him. She was a tool, and if he didn't find the tool useful anymore, into the trashcan she went.

It was a morbid thought, but she'd spent her entire life having them, so she barely noticed.

Jose finally ended the silence, standing and walking close to Juvia.

"Is that so?"

He lifted her head with his knuckles and she felt Gajeel tense behind her. Her heart softened despite the tremor of fear that threatened to make her collapse. He leaned close and she could feel his rank breath on her cheeks. She resisted the urge to recoil and remained still. He frowned and dropped his fingers. Gajeel let out a barely audible breath.

Stalking back to his chair, Jose said, "No. Leave me."

"Master -," Juvia cried, panic rising in her.

"Leave. Me."

As they walked out, Juvia felt her heartbreak. They'd leave soon, and she would never see him again. Never see Fairy Tail again. Despite herself, her lip wobbled as she held back the tears. But maybe there was hope. A small plan started to hatch in her mind.

The rest of the Element Four pealed off, except for Gajeel. He gripped her arm suddenly and dragged her into an abandoned closet. Juvia didn't resist, even though the closet was covered in cobwebs and spiders.

He slammed the door shut, cloaking them in darkness. She could still see his figure though as he towered over her. She could feel his rage.

"I know what you're thinking, Rainwoman," Gajeel snarled. That was his nickname for her because wherever she went, it seemed to rain. That's what he said, but she thought it might just be because of her gloomy attitude. "You are not escaping. I _will_ stop you."

Juvia flinched and backed up.

"Gajeel…"

"It's too dangerous. If you leave he will track you down and make everyone's life a living hell. Then he'll carve you up just for fun."

Juvia's lips wobbled violently as the dam finally broke. Tears flowed down her cheeks unrestrained. Her dream was slipping from her fingers.

"I don't want to leave," she whispered.

"But you have to. We have to."

She nodded numbly, her hope vanished with a snap of Gajeel's thick fingers.

All she could think about were the twinkling lights, and how they felt like home. How the mysterious boy felt like love. And how she'd never get to bask in any of it.

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 **Comments, suggestions, thoughts? Yes, no, maybe so?**

 **Depressing right? I love it.**


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